Crossroads to a homecoming

Dear friends lovers and saints

thoughts, emotions... there all a dream... ive started to think none of it is truly real, its all empty. The moment we cling to that dream does it become a nightmare.

there will always be a nightmare waiting for us, always another obstacle in the way, we all have that inner demon. I used to think that social reform was a pointless cause, the demons would always win, how could i truly turn a new leaf, how can one be born again after so many tried and tested attempts in doing so.... all of which have failed.

i wanted to find safe shores, yet having to swim against the current was too arduous a task, what easier than to drown in a pool of my own suffering.

Ive come to think that the pool of suffering is all but self created. We create the mental state we are in, we create those demons, whose to say we can't find a way of putting it to rest, whose to say that we are already on safe shores we just fail to see it for what it truly is.

I want to come home, no more drowning, no more frowning. I want to be who i am again, I know im home, i just want to see it for its true colours.

Normally i have some bit of wisdom to impart, but i can safely say that im lost. Ive gotten this far, this is my crossroads. I have no light, no guide but i have faith. Where all gonna get there some day right? Otherwise whats the point playing life's game if its all a frown?

I think we all need to stop running, stop dreaming, stop drowning. Every day is a new birth, holding a new fortune, new life. We will get there, we just have to start believing.

Im sorry this post lacks any insight or any interesting stories, i just needed to get it off my chest.

catcha suhada.xx

ps. shout out to sucrose thanks for the comment, the disintrest in my blog made me feel that my blog was pointless, but u got the wheels turning again.

For the Prince to earn his Crown

We all have our problems...


We all have a home but are without a key... We all want to fly but have no wings...

For the past few months, ive felt as if been perpetuating in a state of confusion. Floating rather than standing. Yet i think it gets to a point where fighting with yourself gets you nowhere, like a butterfly struggling to escape its cacoon is still but a butterfly.

I think at times of such great adversity one must forget all they know, to let go of their views and ego and simply start again. For the light of a new day holds rays of hope, that lay glowing in the eminent dark. For we all hold that key, we all have our wings, there just plagued with such impurity that only the purity of rebirth can allow us to see it again.

I think now im slowly on the mend but this time im starting from scratch, no more floating, time to stand strong. I think it gets to a point where one has to be honest to themself and understand what they really want and who they really are.

That being said the words of one wiser than i come to mind. ''For a prince to be given a crown they are sure to misuse it, and tarnish its ambience. Yet to earn it they may call forth others to dance in its afterglow.''

So i guess its time to stand strong, no more fear, no more compromise... time for the prince to earn his crown

and may the turn of this lunar year bring new hope for us all

much love, Suhada.xx