I like the feeling where your parents trudge off to bed at night. Your alone and everything is still, i think thats my favourite part of the day during the holidays.
Its when I can simply "be"
I spend my nights dnm'ing(its wat im good for haha) with all and sundry on msn. Or I play guitar for hours, eating gummi worms or dancing like a crazy mofo to songs on my iPod.
But there comes an end of the day where I have to make the long trudge back to my room. Now I have very asian parents and hell hath no fury like a Sri Lankan mother woken up at all hours of the night due to her son. Hence I have to ninja my way to my room in the dark.
Im not sure about you but I hate walking when I can't see. I had an experience at school where i was dressed up like sponge bob square pants(i looked pretty brutal). So here I was in my square pants and I had to walk across the hall. To all your coordinated folk, this would have been easy but I was a noob and stacked it like the cool kid I am.
But back to walking in the dark, I hate that feeling of uncertainty. As mundane as it may be I hate that inability to truely know where i'm going. In experiences of recent weeks I have learnt such ideality is ridden with a perception of "I". Gaining the ideal is not something we can accomplish by fierce tactics or thought out planning.
I think for us all the ideal is happiness, in the end happiness is something sought purely for what it is not as a means of achieving something else.
That said Ive learnt that ones happiness multiplies when its divided amongst others. When there is no fear of dark just a resolve of whats in front of you.
So for me my room's whats in front, no more flailing in the dark aye. We live the ideal
Later days kids, best of luck for the new year. May u aspire for a bigger and better 2011
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Teenage Dreams my ass Katy Perry
Been goin out more the past 2 weeks than ive been at home., partying hard(in a straightedge sorta way) head feels like its kicked in, throat feels a chainsaw has gone through it, hair looks like a birdsnest.
Is teenage living just torturing your senses for a fleeting moment of fun?
Is teenage living just torturing your senses for a fleeting moment of fun?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Smiley Face
Happiness
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To expect happiness without giving up negative action is like holding your hand in a fire and hoping not to be burned. Of course, no one actually wants to suffer, to be sick, to be cold or hungry -- but as long as we continue to indulge in wrong doing we will never put an end to suffering. Likewise, we will never achieve happiness, except through positive deeds, words, and thoughts. Positive action is something we have to cultivate ourselves; it can be neither bought nor stolen, and no one ever stumbles on it just by chance.
-- H.H. Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, The Heart Treasure of the Enlightened Ones, page 1.
Happiness is the colour in which we view the world clouded by a veil by our own inabitions and fleeting emotions. Onus is upon oneself to find and define it, I can't help but question whether such tireless persistence is worth the end result?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To expect happiness without giving up negative action is like holding your hand in a fire and hoping not to be burned. Of course, no one actually wants to suffer, to be sick, to be cold or hungry -- but as long as we continue to indulge in wrong doing we will never put an end to suffering. Likewise, we will never achieve happiness, except through positive deeds, words, and thoughts. Positive action is something we have to cultivate ourselves; it can be neither bought nor stolen, and no one ever stumbles on it just by chance.
-- H.H. Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, The Heart Treasure of the Enlightened Ones, page 1.
Happiness is the colour in which we view the world clouded by a veil by our own inabitions and fleeting emotions. Onus is upon oneself to find and define it, I can't help but question whether such tireless persistence is worth the end result?
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Nagasena
I think its time i let a story run of someone other than my own
A king asked a monk by what name is he called and he answered Nagasena but there is no man here.
Very confused the king asked him if his hair was Nagasena? No. Is his body Nagasena? Again no. Is his conscience Nagasena? No. After naming every part of Nagasena’s body he said, “I do not find any Nagasena, Nagasena is but a sound! Who is Nagasena? You are lying there is no Nagasena!” Quickly changing the subject, Nagasena asked the king if he rode in a chariot. Then he proceed to ask the king similar questions about his chariot. Is the axle the chariot? No. Is the yoke the chariot? No. Is the frame the chariot? No. Is the axle, yoke and frame the chariot? No. Then Nagasena said “I do not find any chariot, chariot is but a sound! What is this chariot? You are lying there is no chariot!”
Understanding Nagasena’s point the king said, “Good Nagasena, I did not lie. The word chariot comes into existence, dependent on the pole, dependent on the axle, the wheels, the frame, the banner staff, the yoke, the reins, the goad; it is a designation, a description, an appellation, a name.” Nagasena added, “But in the final analysis, the ultimate sense, there is no Person to be found herein.”
What we are is a sum of our many components that are always changing. Many view the soul as the part of us that is passed on through our bodies to somewhere else. However, how can something that is supposed to be you continue on without its intrinsically dependent components
King Milinda’s Doors of Perception
Nagasena appears to defeat the king on exclusively logical ground, viz, that the king’s initial statement is inconsistent and self-contradictory. By analysis of the argument alone and no reference to theories of the soul or perception, explain Nagasena’s objection at each step of the argument. Does he succeed?
King Milinda asks Nagasena, “Reverent Nagasena, do you assume the existence of the soul? “When the King is probed to come up with a definition for the soul, he replies, “The living principle within...which with the eye sees visible objects, with the ear hears sounds, with the nose smells odors, with the tongue tastes flavors, with the body touches tangible objects, with the mind perceives the Doctrine:-just as we here, sitting in this palace, may look out of whatever window we please,-east, west, north, south,-so also, Reverend Sir, this living principle within looks out of whatever door it pleases.”
In summary, Milinda’s soul uses each sense organ to acquire a different type of information, just as looking out a window allows one to acquire information about a different direction. I’ll continue this discussion with an analogy of my own, where each sense organ represents a different book, containing only information not found in any other book. The reader, representing the soul, is free to pick up any book he/she pleases and acquire the information that lies therein.
Nagasena inquires whether the soul can see out of the ear, or nose, etc. To this, Milinda replies, “No.” Nagasena then insists, “What you said last does not agree with what you said first, nor does what you said first agree with what you said last.” Presumably, “what you said first” refers to “the living principle within...which with the eye sees visible objects...” and “what you said last” refers to “this living principle within looks out of whatever door it pleases.” However, this is not the case. Continuing my own analogy, Nagasena is asking Milinda if the reader can acquire the information of Book A while reading book B. Because Milinda never implied that the information in Book A could be acquired while reading book B, and in fact stated the nature of the information that could be found in each book (visible objects in the eye book, sounds in the ear book, etc.), agreeing with Nagasena’s statement does not amount to contracting himself.
Nagasena then attacks Milinda’s analogy of the palace door by suggesting that we can see clearly out of doors, but the “doors” of the soul, the sense organs, somehow do not allow a clear representation of reality. Milinda agrees. However, Milinda’s analogy is not affected by this argument. The phrase “looks out of whatever door it pleases” is merely meant to suggest that there are multiple sources of knowledge for the soul, not that the soul is literally a door. Nagasena is trying to carry the analogy too far; an analogy by nature is not identical to its subject, but only shares certain characteristics with.
In the next argument, “Man Outside of Gateway,” Milinda agrees that he would know if a man left his presence to stand outside the door. Milinda would also know if the same man were to come inside the door and stand before him. Nagasena then attempts to make an analogy to taste-one knows the taste of a substance only when it is on the tongue, not while in the stomach. Thus the soul can not really look outside any door it pleases. In this argument, it is Nagasena’s analogy that is at fault. Milinda provided a specific and complete list of doors that the soul could look through; that list did not include any sense of taste in the stomach. Nagasena is trying to get Milinda to obtain information from a book that does not exists.
In the final discourse, “Man in Trough of Honey,” Milinda is obviously overwhelmed by Nagasena; he contends that sealed lips would block his understanding that he was swimming in a trough of honey! Of course this is not the case, as the other senses (touch, smell, sight) could be adequate for this perception. However, lets consider a case in which an object has a single sensory quality, such as sulfur gas can only be identified by smell. The fact that no other sense can identify this object, that the soul can look out any other door and can not gain information, does not contradict this argument as Nagasena merely provided the books and the limited information therein. He did not promise that all the information would be contained in every book.
A king asked a monk by what name is he called and he answered Nagasena but there is no man here.
Very confused the king asked him if his hair was Nagasena? No. Is his body Nagasena? Again no. Is his conscience Nagasena? No. After naming every part of Nagasena’s body he said, “I do not find any Nagasena, Nagasena is but a sound! Who is Nagasena? You are lying there is no Nagasena!” Quickly changing the subject, Nagasena asked the king if he rode in a chariot. Then he proceed to ask the king similar questions about his chariot. Is the axle the chariot? No. Is the yoke the chariot? No. Is the frame the chariot? No. Is the axle, yoke and frame the chariot? No. Then Nagasena said “I do not find any chariot, chariot is but a sound! What is this chariot? You are lying there is no chariot!”
Understanding Nagasena’s point the king said, “Good Nagasena, I did not lie. The word chariot comes into existence, dependent on the pole, dependent on the axle, the wheels, the frame, the banner staff, the yoke, the reins, the goad; it is a designation, a description, an appellation, a name.” Nagasena added, “But in the final analysis, the ultimate sense, there is no Person to be found herein.”
What we are is a sum of our many components that are always changing. Many view the soul as the part of us that is passed on through our bodies to somewhere else. However, how can something that is supposed to be you continue on without its intrinsically dependent components
King Milinda’s Doors of Perception
Nagasena appears to defeat the king on exclusively logical ground, viz, that the king’s initial statement is inconsistent and self-contradictory. By analysis of the argument alone and no reference to theories of the soul or perception, explain Nagasena’s objection at each step of the argument. Does he succeed?
King Milinda asks Nagasena, “Reverent Nagasena, do you assume the existence of the soul? “When the King is probed to come up with a definition for the soul, he replies, “The living principle within...which with the eye sees visible objects, with the ear hears sounds, with the nose smells odors, with the tongue tastes flavors, with the body touches tangible objects, with the mind perceives the Doctrine:-just as we here, sitting in this palace, may look out of whatever window we please,-east, west, north, south,-so also, Reverend Sir, this living principle within looks out of whatever door it pleases.”
In summary, Milinda’s soul uses each sense organ to acquire a different type of information, just as looking out a window allows one to acquire information about a different direction. I’ll continue this discussion with an analogy of my own, where each sense organ represents a different book, containing only information not found in any other book. The reader, representing the soul, is free to pick up any book he/she pleases and acquire the information that lies therein.
Nagasena inquires whether the soul can see out of the ear, or nose, etc. To this, Milinda replies, “No.” Nagasena then insists, “What you said last does not agree with what you said first, nor does what you said first agree with what you said last.” Presumably, “what you said first” refers to “the living principle within...which with the eye sees visible objects...” and “what you said last” refers to “this living principle within looks out of whatever door it pleases.” However, this is not the case. Continuing my own analogy, Nagasena is asking Milinda if the reader can acquire the information of Book A while reading book B. Because Milinda never implied that the information in Book A could be acquired while reading book B, and in fact stated the nature of the information that could be found in each book (visible objects in the eye book, sounds in the ear book, etc.), agreeing with Nagasena’s statement does not amount to contracting himself.
Nagasena then attacks Milinda’s analogy of the palace door by suggesting that we can see clearly out of doors, but the “doors” of the soul, the sense organs, somehow do not allow a clear representation of reality. Milinda agrees. However, Milinda’s analogy is not affected by this argument. The phrase “looks out of whatever door it pleases” is merely meant to suggest that there are multiple sources of knowledge for the soul, not that the soul is literally a door. Nagasena is trying to carry the analogy too far; an analogy by nature is not identical to its subject, but only shares certain characteristics with.
In the next argument, “Man Outside of Gateway,” Milinda agrees that he would know if a man left his presence to stand outside the door. Milinda would also know if the same man were to come inside the door and stand before him. Nagasena then attempts to make an analogy to taste-one knows the taste of a substance only when it is on the tongue, not while in the stomach. Thus the soul can not really look outside any door it pleases. In this argument, it is Nagasena’s analogy that is at fault. Milinda provided a specific and complete list of doors that the soul could look through; that list did not include any sense of taste in the stomach. Nagasena is trying to get Milinda to obtain information from a book that does not exists.
In the final discourse, “Man in Trough of Honey,” Milinda is obviously overwhelmed by Nagasena; he contends that sealed lips would block his understanding that he was swimming in a trough of honey! Of course this is not the case, as the other senses (touch, smell, sight) could be adequate for this perception. However, lets consider a case in which an object has a single sensory quality, such as sulfur gas can only be identified by smell. The fact that no other sense can identify this object, that the soul can look out any other door and can not gain information, does not contradict this argument as Nagasena merely provided the books and the limited information therein. He did not promise that all the information would be contained in every book.
Everything Imbetween 2
love is blind, its insunuating and consumes one whole, why can't it be pure of essence and nature, why can't love be a cumbersome nature to fufill you or is that just a notion lost in our bleak and desolate society?
Friday, July 16, 2010
100% Real Beef
Dear friends lovers sinners and saints
Its been a while since I made a post, a proper post. I guess I needed time off to let the sounds off my own thoughts to echo my head and if anything I think i've reached a clarity where i can start saying expressing myself again(however desolate or otherwise stupid it may be)
I find it ironic how such strong words can be used so easily yet refuted just the same with a dire opposite. Im sure you know what I mean when i say this but there is always that infuriating pair that fill there sentences with
" I love you babe"
or
"your my world"
Yet as soon as things become constrewed(don't think i spelt that right, sorry for the poor grammar/spelling XP) and they are not attempting to become one organism by sucking serious face, there words are filled with
"I hate you"
This metaphorical pair may be your parents(heaven forbid) people down the street people at school but yeah I think you get my point.
What bothers me is the opposites of honesty and lies. As far as I see it the time when honesty is most in need is when a person lies to themselves, its when preconceived views or misconceptions are there that things become skewed and its when someone has an outstanding view on the subject of "I" that problems start to arise. I think we lie to ourselves the most in terms of lifes end. I know talking about life, death and all its associated faiths is a touchy subject but none the less I shall venture there. We all once again view life through this unmitigates view of "I" where the life we wish to lead is made by this person "I", in which our death is as consequence of what "I" wants and one's legacy is also as a result of "I". I say this like only the minority of social underlings ever cling on to "I" but I can safely say we all do it, I guess it takes alot of maturity and courage to step back to see things for what they really are, that everything is subject to change, everything will rise and fall. I guess it comes down to the old granny's tale of what's best for you is not always what you want.
But who wants that right? In today's modern age everyone, like literally EVERYONE wants to hold the world in the palm of their hands, because were special right? Its crap that each of us have been told since birth, whether it be parents school or the man on the TV. Yet what is it worth if the preconception of someone special is the tall, dark eyed and handsome, or hour glass figure with stunning hair. None the less(sorry i got a bit carried away with that) we all see what we want to see and are willing see, yet not what we are meant to see. People say life is like a mountain, where its treacherous trails our are journey of life and the peak is the pinnacle of all that whether it be heaven, nirvarna or any other religious equivelent(im sorry for ignorance with that statement). Once again our paths is all formed by that idea of "I" whether we take the easy(ironically the easier way is always longer) way and go around have faith in what we believe and make the trecherous trek straight up, its all determined by "I". Yet in my mind that doesn't really seem worth it and god dammit sounds too good to be true. Life isn't a video game, there isn't a pause button or a reset key. If the preconceived view is that were totally in control of everything we do im just gonna say how any good 16 year old cocky smart mouth teenager would say it.
That being, fuck that.
In my mind I rather life be the edge of a cliff, where you jump off into what lies beneath. I know that amongst all things sounds reckless, but when it comes down to it I know that I don't have the wisdom to make the choices and carve a path to get up that mountain, I rather go to the uncharted territory and let the mountains find me. Its a risk for sure, but someone important once said to me "sometimes the biggest risk is not taking a risk at all".
Thats all from me for now, hope your all doing well!
Be honest to yourself, run the risk and fly!
love. Suhada
ps. thank you Kenny for helping me find the words to write this
Its been a while since I made a post, a proper post. I guess I needed time off to let the sounds off my own thoughts to echo my head and if anything I think i've reached a clarity where i can start saying expressing myself again(however desolate or otherwise stupid it may be)
I find it ironic how such strong words can be used so easily yet refuted just the same with a dire opposite. Im sure you know what I mean when i say this but there is always that infuriating pair that fill there sentences with
" I love you babe"
or
"your my world"
Yet as soon as things become constrewed(don't think i spelt that right, sorry for the poor grammar/spelling XP) and they are not attempting to become one organism by sucking serious face, there words are filled with
"I hate you"
This metaphorical pair may be your parents(heaven forbid) people down the street people at school but yeah I think you get my point.
What bothers me is the opposites of honesty and lies. As far as I see it the time when honesty is most in need is when a person lies to themselves, its when preconceived views or misconceptions are there that things become skewed and its when someone has an outstanding view on the subject of "I" that problems start to arise. I think we lie to ourselves the most in terms of lifes end. I know talking about life, death and all its associated faiths is a touchy subject but none the less I shall venture there. We all once again view life through this unmitigates view of "I" where the life we wish to lead is made by this person "I", in which our death is as consequence of what "I" wants and one's legacy is also as a result of "I". I say this like only the minority of social underlings ever cling on to "I" but I can safely say we all do it, I guess it takes alot of maturity and courage to step back to see things for what they really are, that everything is subject to change, everything will rise and fall. I guess it comes down to the old granny's tale of what's best for you is not always what you want.
But who wants that right? In today's modern age everyone, like literally EVERYONE wants to hold the world in the palm of their hands, because were special right? Its crap that each of us have been told since birth, whether it be parents school or the man on the TV. Yet what is it worth if the preconception of someone special is the tall, dark eyed and handsome, or hour glass figure with stunning hair. None the less(sorry i got a bit carried away with that) we all see what we want to see and are willing see, yet not what we are meant to see. People say life is like a mountain, where its treacherous trails our are journey of life and the peak is the pinnacle of all that whether it be heaven, nirvarna or any other religious equivelent(im sorry for ignorance with that statement). Once again our paths is all formed by that idea of "I" whether we take the easy(ironically the easier way is always longer) way and go around have faith in what we believe and make the trecherous trek straight up, its all determined by "I". Yet in my mind that doesn't really seem worth it and god dammit sounds too good to be true. Life isn't a video game, there isn't a pause button or a reset key. If the preconceived view is that were totally in control of everything we do im just gonna say how any good 16 year old cocky smart mouth teenager would say it.
That being, fuck that.
In my mind I rather life be the edge of a cliff, where you jump off into what lies beneath. I know that amongst all things sounds reckless, but when it comes down to it I know that I don't have the wisdom to make the choices and carve a path to get up that mountain, I rather go to the uncharted territory and let the mountains find me. Its a risk for sure, but someone important once said to me "sometimes the biggest risk is not taking a risk at all".
Thats all from me for now, hope your all doing well!
Be honest to yourself, run the risk and fly!
love. Suhada
ps. thank you Kenny for helping me find the words to write this
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Everything Imbetween 3: This goes without a title
Flower Garland Sutra
i will be a good physician for the sick and suffering. I will lead those who have lost their way to the right road. I will be a bright light for those in the dark night, and cause the poor and destitute to uncover hidden treasures.
i will be a good physician for the sick and suffering. I will lead those who have lost their way to the right road. I will be a bright light for those in the dark night, and cause the poor and destitute to uncover hidden treasures.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Everything Imbetween 1: 21 things
Ive been taking a break from blogging lately i guess to get my head around school and simply just getting my shit together.
But i guess the reason i started blogging was to see where my headspace was at, i needed to write wat i think to really know wat i think. I don't think im in a position to be handing out life advice on life's gruelling questions, but i need to put my thoughts to paper(figuritively that is) to see where i am. What you make of it, well i guess thats up to you.
People do stupid shit like this on facebook so i thought i might try it, these are the 21 things most prominent on my mind, why 21? Well i dunn i just like the number =]
1. i don't understand why people hide behind a social disguise. like i know i do it to, but when you see kids on the street you don't see them as girl with dark hair and tight jeans, their labelled emo chic. If you see a guy with a mullet, trackies and adidas shoes your first thought it "oh shit another lad". Are they presumptions we create ourselves, or is it a social view which constrains our reasoning?
2. socks are terribly uncomfertable, does anybody else agree with me?
3. there are too many versions of itunes and msn that are released, what makes it more annoying is the constant message saying ''download the latest version''. Is the addage of "new and improved" really new and improved or just an adaptation to a current annoyance.
4. In those American high school tv shows, i don't know how those kids find something new to wear every day while still being fashionably acceptable. I get about 3 shirts and a pair of pants a year, everything else is hand-me-downs!
5. Pringles are genius
6. How come most people only watch a youtubers video not for their talent but because their ridiculously hot and the 3 and a half minutes where u stare at their face is considered precious face time.
7. is justin beiber really gay/girl/lesbian/unich?
8.back in 06-07 Jessica Alba was the hottest thing to walk the face of the earth, then it was Megan Fox. Just out of curiosity who are teenage boys craving about now? In my personal opinion Kirsten Kreuk is like the prettiest person on TV but i doubt most even know who she is or agrees.
9. kfc is over rated, maccas ftw
10. i don't like those straight downy fringe thingos(that was poorly worded but u get wat i mean)
11. to all those avatar the last air bender fans, WHY IS ZUKO INDIAN. Like come on i'd make a better zuko than dev patel. Sure my acting aint up to scratch, but i pull off the angsty, confused teenager thing so much better. Plus i have the hair to boot. RAGE
12. Sunkist really is better than Fanta
13. It annoys me how shounen jump take constant breaks scheduled for ''planning of their manga'' and after several thousand fans pine over a new chapter each week their only met with another dissatisfying 20 page issue.
14. Im going to Japan, China and Sweeden this year. Hooray!
15. I don't think 15 is a particularly interesting number
16. Dam im running out of things to say, my crass sense of humour has its limits!
17. Is tupac really dead?
18. It annoys me when people speak in their native language really loud in public and then look down on people around them speaking english. Im not trying to create racist tension, but wheres the love people, where in Australia aren't we?
19. im Flabawabajabanabawaba noonga, I'm back
20. I plan to play robot unicorn attack after dinner. What a trippy game aye
21. people always talk about when michael jackson was a talented black man to how died as a screaming white bitch. Wat about when he was imbetween huh WHEN HE WAS BROWN. Yeah you know what i mean, go watch thriller again. Tell me that someone with pants that end at his ankles with high white sock, greased up hair and just plain retarded dance moves isn't a curry!
I dunno if anything that was at leas the slightest bit liberating. There are so many things I wish I could say, but thats just I just can't. I guess for now this will have to do.... Its everything imbetween
With love
Sukhi
But i guess the reason i started blogging was to see where my headspace was at, i needed to write wat i think to really know wat i think. I don't think im in a position to be handing out life advice on life's gruelling questions, but i need to put my thoughts to paper(figuritively that is) to see where i am. What you make of it, well i guess thats up to you.
People do stupid shit like this on facebook so i thought i might try it, these are the 21 things most prominent on my mind, why 21? Well i dunn i just like the number =]
1. i don't understand why people hide behind a social disguise. like i know i do it to, but when you see kids on the street you don't see them as girl with dark hair and tight jeans, their labelled emo chic. If you see a guy with a mullet, trackies and adidas shoes your first thought it "oh shit another lad". Are they presumptions we create ourselves, or is it a social view which constrains our reasoning?
2. socks are terribly uncomfertable, does anybody else agree with me?
3. there are too many versions of itunes and msn that are released, what makes it more annoying is the constant message saying ''download the latest version''. Is the addage of "new and improved" really new and improved or just an adaptation to a current annoyance.
4. In those American high school tv shows, i don't know how those kids find something new to wear every day while still being fashionably acceptable. I get about 3 shirts and a pair of pants a year, everything else is hand-me-downs!
5. Pringles are genius
6. How come most people only watch a youtubers video not for their talent but because their ridiculously hot and the 3 and a half minutes where u stare at their face is considered precious face time.
7. is justin beiber really gay/girl/lesbian/unich?
8.back in 06-07 Jessica Alba was the hottest thing to walk the face of the earth, then it was Megan Fox. Just out of curiosity who are teenage boys craving about now? In my personal opinion Kirsten Kreuk is like the prettiest person on TV but i doubt most even know who she is or agrees.
9. kfc is over rated, maccas ftw
10. i don't like those straight downy fringe thingos(that was poorly worded but u get wat i mean)
11. to all those avatar the last air bender fans, WHY IS ZUKO INDIAN. Like come on i'd make a better zuko than dev patel. Sure my acting aint up to scratch, but i pull off the angsty, confused teenager thing so much better. Plus i have the hair to boot. RAGE
12. Sunkist really is better than Fanta
13. It annoys me how shounen jump take constant breaks scheduled for ''planning of their manga'' and after several thousand fans pine over a new chapter each week their only met with another dissatisfying 20 page issue.
14. Im going to Japan, China and Sweeden this year. Hooray!
15. I don't think 15 is a particularly interesting number
16. Dam im running out of things to say, my crass sense of humour has its limits!
17. Is tupac really dead?
18. It annoys me when people speak in their native language really loud in public and then look down on people around them speaking english. Im not trying to create racist tension, but wheres the love people, where in Australia aren't we?
19. im Flabawabajabanabawaba noonga, I'm back
20. I plan to play robot unicorn attack after dinner. What a trippy game aye
21. people always talk about when michael jackson was a talented black man to how died as a screaming white bitch. Wat about when he was imbetween huh WHEN HE WAS BROWN. Yeah you know what i mean, go watch thriller again. Tell me that someone with pants that end at his ankles with high white sock, greased up hair and just plain retarded dance moves isn't a curry!
I dunno if anything that was at leas the slightest bit liberating. There are so many things I wish I could say, but thats just I just can't. I guess for now this will have to do.... Its everything imbetween
With love
Sukhi
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Chapter 1, Close
This is the end of this chapter.
I have a long list of boxes to tick but i need to find "Suhada" again before i can get there. I have so many things to say, just theres no meaning behind any of it. There are so many voices in my head, telling me of all the things I have to do, just i think its time I put them on mute and just listen to Suhada.
I want colour in my painting, just right now its all black, its time to find a rainbow. Time to be honest with myself.
Rest easy kids, ill be seeing you soon.
This Chapter is closed...
Suhada.xx
I have a long list of boxes to tick but i need to find "Suhada" again before i can get there. I have so many things to say, just theres no meaning behind any of it. There are so many voices in my head, telling me of all the things I have to do, just i think its time I put them on mute and just listen to Suhada.
I want colour in my painting, just right now its all black, its time to find a rainbow. Time to be honest with myself.
Rest easy kids, ill be seeing you soon.
This Chapter is closed...
Suhada.xx
Saturday, March 6, 2010
74 aint so small
Dear Friends lover sinners and saints
Water shall always cut itself a new path, it simply flows. A stream never stops to ponder why it flows, it simply just goes with it.
I think its time to just be like the stream and flow through. Sometimes wasting time wondering what the bigger picture is, stops us from getting there.
A drop of water, can one day emminate sounds from the ocean. Its high time I started goin with the flow, time to find the ocean
much love..
suhada.xx
Water shall always cut itself a new path, it simply flows. A stream never stops to ponder why it flows, it simply just goes with it.
I think its time to just be like the stream and flow through. Sometimes wasting time wondering what the bigger picture is, stops us from getting there.
A drop of water, can one day emminate sounds from the ocean. Its high time I started goin with the flow, time to find the ocean
much love..
suhada.xx
Monday, March 1, 2010
Counting Sheep
Call me weird, stupid or any other insult you may wish, I don't plan to fight with whatever you think, for I am what you think...
but for want of a better topic i'm afraid to sleep....
The lives we lead are a strangled dissaray of thoughts, events and emotions, they hold no consequence, no real purpose. I feel that the world we live in is madness, living a life in fast foward is no consellation. Yet I find that the only time things really start to slow down, where I can really see things for what they are is laying in bed watching the light of day fade.
Yet when I start looking at things for what they really are I can't help but be full of disdain, for past regrets, for failing in being the person I should be. I know this may sound like the typical ''teen angst'' story but my lifes been full of too many ''what ifs'' that only come to fruition as i lay in wake for the tide to turn a new day.
But the past is at is sounds right?... nothing but the past. It is said and done, written in stone. There isn't any do overs, restarts or page refresh buttons in lifes game. Suffice to say our past is the foundation for our present, our current state culminate who we are here and now. I guess here and now, i feel crippled, there is so much adversity and animosity that I still have trouble comprehending but im whole right. I think that its only through overcoming life's greatest obstacles can we truly learn, for what better way to leave imrpints onto ones life of its preciousnous than seing its frailty first hand?
So that is my present, a constant battle within my own thoughts, a war with myself...
Our present holds the key for our future, and i have no idea where any of that entails hence resulting in my certain dislike of sleep. But i guess for the sake of my sleep trying to solve lifes problems by dwelling on my past and fixating on my future holds no resolves. Lifes questions may stem from thoughts of the future and memories of our past but its resolve result in our present state.
Its 3:21am 2nd of February, im listening to ''downfall of us all'' by a day to remember im in my room but most importantly im living in the present.
time for some much needed rest.
rest easy kids
love suhada.xx
but for want of a better topic i'm afraid to sleep....
The lives we lead are a strangled dissaray of thoughts, events and emotions, they hold no consequence, no real purpose. I feel that the world we live in is madness, living a life in fast foward is no consellation. Yet I find that the only time things really start to slow down, where I can really see things for what they are is laying in bed watching the light of day fade.
Yet when I start looking at things for what they really are I can't help but be full of disdain, for past regrets, for failing in being the person I should be. I know this may sound like the typical ''teen angst'' story but my lifes been full of too many ''what ifs'' that only come to fruition as i lay in wake for the tide to turn a new day.
But the past is at is sounds right?... nothing but the past. It is said and done, written in stone. There isn't any do overs, restarts or page refresh buttons in lifes game. Suffice to say our past is the foundation for our present, our current state culminate who we are here and now. I guess here and now, i feel crippled, there is so much adversity and animosity that I still have trouble comprehending but im whole right. I think that its only through overcoming life's greatest obstacles can we truly learn, for what better way to leave imrpints onto ones life of its preciousnous than seing its frailty first hand?
So that is my present, a constant battle within my own thoughts, a war with myself...
Our present holds the key for our future, and i have no idea where any of that entails hence resulting in my certain dislike of sleep. But i guess for the sake of my sleep trying to solve lifes problems by dwelling on my past and fixating on my future holds no resolves. Lifes questions may stem from thoughts of the future and memories of our past but its resolve result in our present state.
Its 3:21am 2nd of February, im listening to ''downfall of us all'' by a day to remember im in my room but most importantly im living in the present.
time for some much needed rest.
rest easy kids
love suhada.xx
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Crossroads to a homecoming
Dear friends lovers and saints
thoughts, emotions... there all a dream... ive started to think none of it is truly real, its all empty. The moment we cling to that dream does it become a nightmare.
there will always be a nightmare waiting for us, always another obstacle in the way, we all have that inner demon. I used to think that social reform was a pointless cause, the demons would always win, how could i truly turn a new leaf, how can one be born again after so many tried and tested attempts in doing so.... all of which have failed.
i wanted to find safe shores, yet having to swim against the current was too arduous a task, what easier than to drown in a pool of my own suffering.
Ive come to think that the pool of suffering is all but self created. We create the mental state we are in, we create those demons, whose to say we can't find a way of putting it to rest, whose to say that we are already on safe shores we just fail to see it for what it truly is.
I want to come home, no more drowning, no more frowning. I want to be who i am again, I know im home, i just want to see it for its true colours.
Normally i have some bit of wisdom to impart, but i can safely say that im lost. Ive gotten this far, this is my crossroads. I have no light, no guide but i have faith. Where all gonna get there some day right? Otherwise whats the point playing life's game if its all a frown?
I think we all need to stop running, stop dreaming, stop drowning. Every day is a new birth, holding a new fortune, new life. We will get there, we just have to start believing.
Im sorry this post lacks any insight or any interesting stories, i just needed to get it off my chest.
catcha suhada.xx
ps. shout out to sucrose thanks for the comment, the disintrest in my blog made me feel that my blog was pointless, but u got the wheels turning again.
thoughts, emotions... there all a dream... ive started to think none of it is truly real, its all empty. The moment we cling to that dream does it become a nightmare.
there will always be a nightmare waiting for us, always another obstacle in the way, we all have that inner demon. I used to think that social reform was a pointless cause, the demons would always win, how could i truly turn a new leaf, how can one be born again after so many tried and tested attempts in doing so.... all of which have failed.
i wanted to find safe shores, yet having to swim against the current was too arduous a task, what easier than to drown in a pool of my own suffering.
Ive come to think that the pool of suffering is all but self created. We create the mental state we are in, we create those demons, whose to say we can't find a way of putting it to rest, whose to say that we are already on safe shores we just fail to see it for what it truly is.
I want to come home, no more drowning, no more frowning. I want to be who i am again, I know im home, i just want to see it for its true colours.
Normally i have some bit of wisdom to impart, but i can safely say that im lost. Ive gotten this far, this is my crossroads. I have no light, no guide but i have faith. Where all gonna get there some day right? Otherwise whats the point playing life's game if its all a frown?
I think we all need to stop running, stop dreaming, stop drowning. Every day is a new birth, holding a new fortune, new life. We will get there, we just have to start believing.
Im sorry this post lacks any insight or any interesting stories, i just needed to get it off my chest.
catcha suhada.xx
ps. shout out to sucrose thanks for the comment, the disintrest in my blog made me feel that my blog was pointless, but u got the wheels turning again.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
For the Prince to earn his Crown
We all have our problems...
We all have a home but are without a key... We all want to fly but have no wings...
For the past few months, ive felt as if been perpetuating in a state of confusion. Floating rather than standing. Yet i think it gets to a point where fighting with yourself gets you nowhere, like a butterfly struggling to escape its cacoon is still but a butterfly.
I think at times of such great adversity one must forget all they know, to let go of their views and ego and simply start again. For the light of a new day holds rays of hope, that lay glowing in the eminent dark. For we all hold that key, we all have our wings, there just plagued with such impurity that only the purity of rebirth can allow us to see it again.
I think now im slowly on the mend but this time im starting from scratch, no more floating, time to stand strong. I think it gets to a point where one has to be honest to themself and understand what they really want and who they really are.
That being said the words of one wiser than i come to mind. ''For a prince to be given a crown they are sure to misuse it, and tarnish its ambience. Yet to earn it they may call forth others to dance in its afterglow.''
So i guess its time to stand strong, no more fear, no more compromise... time for the prince to earn his crown
and may the turn of this lunar year bring new hope for us all
much love, Suhada.xx
We all have a home but are without a key... We all want to fly but have no wings...
For the past few months, ive felt as if been perpetuating in a state of confusion. Floating rather than standing. Yet i think it gets to a point where fighting with yourself gets you nowhere, like a butterfly struggling to escape its cacoon is still but a butterfly.
I think at times of such great adversity one must forget all they know, to let go of their views and ego and simply start again. For the light of a new day holds rays of hope, that lay glowing in the eminent dark. For we all hold that key, we all have our wings, there just plagued with such impurity that only the purity of rebirth can allow us to see it again.
I think now im slowly on the mend but this time im starting from scratch, no more floating, time to stand strong. I think it gets to a point where one has to be honest to themself and understand what they really want and who they really are.
That being said the words of one wiser than i come to mind. ''For a prince to be given a crown they are sure to misuse it, and tarnish its ambience. Yet to earn it they may call forth others to dance in its afterglow.''
So i guess its time to stand strong, no more fear, no more compromise... time for the prince to earn his crown
and may the turn of this lunar year bring new hope for us all
much love, Suhada.xx
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monk Diaries 2: Every Dog has its day, and the saga of my curly fringe
Dear friends lovers sinners and saints
I'd like to start this post with some wise words from Hellen Keller, i quote ''the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it''.
Before your thoughts go into a flurry of ''omg another melodramtic post on the negativities of life and our futile existence'', i shall just say that this post lacks mention of rainbows, fluffy bunnies and a false ideality but it does hold some light of hope.... if not my blogs would be a total drag =]
We live in a world of suffering, i'd like to think our purpose in life is to find a way to overcome it, through means by which our morals are based upon. Yet prior to my Sarnarth experience i like most others had a very narrow minded view of what suffering really is. I think most of us live in a bubble, we only so the world in relation to ourselves and through are own misguided perspective. During my venture of 09 i went through the typical angsty teenager phase wherease i thought everything in my life sucked, school sucked, parents sucked, guitar sucked blah blah, you get the picture. Well one incident however stupid it may sound changed my view to what suffering really is and sure as hell burst the bubble i lived in.
In Sarnarth all the guys stayed in a totally awesome chinese temple. By awesome i don't mean 7 star facilities with a massive pool golf course and ridiculously hot girls walking around the place, i mean squatting toilets, bugs like everywhere hard ass beds and the wafting smells of rotting garbage and who knows wat else coming from the street. Yep certainly a minimalistic way of living, yet ironically letting go of wordly needs felt all to liberating. Well after just gettin used to my humble livings it rained like all hell. After struggling in an attempt to find the perfect way to describe the rain all i can come up with is that it was like the population of china falling from the sky. Yet as much as id love raining asians rain in india aint as appealling. Days of mud rubbish sewage and animal faeces flowed through the street. Back at the chinese temple there were a family of dogs and in an attempt to get her puppies away from the rain the mother dog(saying bitch sounds too harsh of mouth) carried her puppies in her teeth. Not to our knowledge however was that the mother dog(eh saying mother dog is such a hassle but bitch is so colloquial somebody think of alternate name!) bit down too hard on the puppy leaving a gaping wound in its head and hip. Two days later we woke to the sounds of this puppy screaming in pain. I know dogs to be reseliant creatures even as puppies but here was this puppy shrieking in distress, having no idea what was wrong with it. None of us there had any idea of what to do so we washed it and put medicine over the wound and to our surprise maggots came out of its head.
This was very much a rude awakening to how i viewed life's hardhsips. Prior to seeing the struggle of this puppy i used to think suffering was when my fringe would go all curly instead of bein straight, or a annoying year 7 would buy the last apple pie in the canteen, i can't help but feeling pathetic for such a view of the world.
Yet back to the story of this puppy so after we washed it was a miserable heap. It would shiver in a corner, I came to the conclusion it was going to die a miserable death. So its screams of pain and distress continued for another 2 days, I remember spending long periods of my afternoon trying to calm it down as i watched blood drip from its wounds completely pissed with myself i couldn't do anything else for it. Yet to cut a long story short we eventually got a moth ball and pasted it over the its wounds and instantly like 20 maggots came out. I won't deem the sight with a vivid description other than saying it was mucho grose.
So after that the puppy started steps to recovery and suffice to say witnessing the ordeal of this poor animal made me wake up from a state of disallusion. I realised from puppy(we never gave it an actual name other than puppy) that suffering is a state of mind, purely a handicap to slow us down in life's seemingly never ending race. If we succumb to the ocean of suffering we live in how can we ever strive foward to see how things truly are, all we can do is down. With that i shall say my goal is to have peace of mind and to see things as they really are, instead of viewing the issue of my fringe being curly instead of straight as suffering i would see it simple as having a curly fringe. Such is a lesson i learnt form puppy and the people of india. Most of the people i encountered lead lives not being assured where their next meal will come from or if they will be able to scrounge a living for the day. Yet they are happy, like don't get me wrong there loud, smell and rude, but more importantly they are happy while they do it. They don't cling to events of the past or thinking ''what if'', pondering what the future may hold they live in the present moment.
I can safely say the people of india and even more so one puppy taught me how to deal with ones adverse challenges, i too hope you can have peace of mind and hope this post burst your bubble!
later days
suhada.xx
I'd like to start this post with some wise words from Hellen Keller, i quote ''the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it''.
Before your thoughts go into a flurry of ''omg another melodramtic post on the negativities of life and our futile existence'', i shall just say that this post lacks mention of rainbows, fluffy bunnies and a false ideality but it does hold some light of hope.... if not my blogs would be a total drag =]
We live in a world of suffering, i'd like to think our purpose in life is to find a way to overcome it, through means by which our morals are based upon. Yet prior to my Sarnarth experience i like most others had a very narrow minded view of what suffering really is. I think most of us live in a bubble, we only so the world in relation to ourselves and through are own misguided perspective. During my venture of 09 i went through the typical angsty teenager phase wherease i thought everything in my life sucked, school sucked, parents sucked, guitar sucked blah blah, you get the picture. Well one incident however stupid it may sound changed my view to what suffering really is and sure as hell burst the bubble i lived in.
In Sarnarth all the guys stayed in a totally awesome chinese temple. By awesome i don't mean 7 star facilities with a massive pool golf course and ridiculously hot girls walking around the place, i mean squatting toilets, bugs like everywhere hard ass beds and the wafting smells of rotting garbage and who knows wat else coming from the street. Yep certainly a minimalistic way of living, yet ironically letting go of wordly needs felt all to liberating. Well after just gettin used to my humble livings it rained like all hell. After struggling in an attempt to find the perfect way to describe the rain all i can come up with is that it was like the population of china falling from the sky. Yet as much as id love raining asians rain in india aint as appealling. Days of mud rubbish sewage and animal faeces flowed through the street. Back at the chinese temple there were a family of dogs and in an attempt to get her puppies away from the rain the mother dog(saying bitch sounds too harsh of mouth) carried her puppies in her teeth. Not to our knowledge however was that the mother dog(eh saying mother dog is such a hassle but bitch is so colloquial somebody think of alternate name!) bit down too hard on the puppy leaving a gaping wound in its head and hip. Two days later we woke to the sounds of this puppy screaming in pain. I know dogs to be reseliant creatures even as puppies but here was this puppy shrieking in distress, having no idea what was wrong with it. None of us there had any idea of what to do so we washed it and put medicine over the wound and to our surprise maggots came out of its head.
This was very much a rude awakening to how i viewed life's hardhsips. Prior to seeing the struggle of this puppy i used to think suffering was when my fringe would go all curly instead of bein straight, or a annoying year 7 would buy the last apple pie in the canteen, i can't help but feeling pathetic for such a view of the world.
Yet back to the story of this puppy so after we washed it was a miserable heap. It would shiver in a corner, I came to the conclusion it was going to die a miserable death. So its screams of pain and distress continued for another 2 days, I remember spending long periods of my afternoon trying to calm it down as i watched blood drip from its wounds completely pissed with myself i couldn't do anything else for it. Yet to cut a long story short we eventually got a moth ball and pasted it over the its wounds and instantly like 20 maggots came out. I won't deem the sight with a vivid description other than saying it was mucho grose.
So after that the puppy started steps to recovery and suffice to say witnessing the ordeal of this poor animal made me wake up from a state of disallusion. I realised from puppy(we never gave it an actual name other than puppy) that suffering is a state of mind, purely a handicap to slow us down in life's seemingly never ending race. If we succumb to the ocean of suffering we live in how can we ever strive foward to see how things truly are, all we can do is down. With that i shall say my goal is to have peace of mind and to see things as they really are, instead of viewing the issue of my fringe being curly instead of straight as suffering i would see it simple as having a curly fringe. Such is a lesson i learnt form puppy and the people of india. Most of the people i encountered lead lives not being assured where their next meal will come from or if they will be able to scrounge a living for the day. Yet they are happy, like don't get me wrong there loud, smell and rude, but more importantly they are happy while they do it. They don't cling to events of the past or thinking ''what if'', pondering what the future may hold they live in the present moment.
I can safely say the people of india and even more so one puppy taught me how to deal with ones adverse challenges, i too hope you can have peace of mind and hope this post burst your bubble!
later days
suhada.xx
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Monk Diaries 1: New years, an introduction to Sarnarth and Hair Conditioner
Dear friends lovers sinners and saints
firstly id like to say a happy new year to all! I have to say 2009 sucked(i couldn't think of a simple literary term to sum it up so i went with the simple option). i guess new years eve is traditionally spent with family, alchohol and the site of fireworks and other grand pyrotechnics. I guess this year i wanted to spend my last day of 2009 a bit differently.
I never intended for my blog to be used to recount events in my life rather my thoughts, but its a new year so what the heck. futhermore our personal experiences shape our outlooks, morals and views, so i thought i ought to give you guys a back story before i start spieling!
I think ive hinted in previous posts that im a buddhist, truth be told ive spent the weekends at the same temple in peats ridge for the past 8 years. i guess it gives me peace of mind. but back to the topic of new years! i spent my new year at temple, in fact my last hour of 2009 i wasn't with friends, dancing being merry and eating good food. i sat alone in a candle lit room that burned with the smell of incence. Yeh i know what your thinking, ''what a depressing to start a new year'' and well to the wider majority who think that your entitiled to your opinion. yet for me it was a chance to reflect on the year thats gone by i guess my first thoughts were that school sucked, my severely lacking love life sucked, life at home sucked, 2009 sucked. Yet after pondering that only through hardship can we learn from our mistakes and strive on to bigger better things and i guess thinking about all the hard times throughout 09 i learnt from every single mistake and bad situation. I guess what im trying to alude to is no year is truly good or bad. Some will prosper while others will suffer but with peace of mind whatever obstacles life has for us, we will stand strong and overcome it all the stronger. So with that i wish you all the best for the turn of a new year and hope that you jump every hurdle standing in your way.
I guess my highlight for the year was a trip i took to sarnarth in india. it was organised through my youth group, i pretty much signed up for a course where i lived like a monk for 3 weeks. The idea of doing it still sounds pretty strange to me, but i felt that i had so many questions and i could never find resolve out in the world, i felt i had to go to at least get some closure. In short what i had to do was give up all my things wear monsatic robes and meditate all day, i lived like the average indian, living in a temple communal toilets filled with bugs and creepy crawlies. Heck i even walked barefoot on streets covered with sewerage, cow crap and peoples piss and spit. Yeah i know the idea of doing this sounds ridiculous right? Well i can't say much else other than it is.... but its liberating to let go of everything. I learnt alot from the people in india. In short they have ''jack shit'' to live with poor housing, little food, little money that means there is little reason for hope right?
WRONG! They live with so much hope and vigour they strive onwards day after day and there i was pining for my guitar and a nice big bottle of hair conditioner. But i guess living like that i realised that all those ''wordly'' things are impermanent the idea of conditioner is a fine example well metaphorically speaking anyways. When i have conditioner im as happy as larry but once its all used up(which for me is generally a 600ml bottle in 3 weeks =0) im pissed off upset and i want more and i crave for it until i get it, its all a vicious cycle well until im bald!
In summary india taught me that everything is subject change. All thoughts and possessions are subject to change so ''let go''. Thats my tune for this year letting go, to be more content to be a simple Suhada because thats where true happiness lies. Although i had nothing to call my own that was the happiest ive been in certainly a long time. I guess when there is no attatchment, no cravings and no delusion there is purity in your thoughts and actions. Its like poison and honey, so lets hope the bee's keep it sweet aye.
Well i know thise post wasn't the most elequont ive made in recent months but i felt i need to put it out there. Spending new years at Peats Ridge and going to Sarnarth was certainly one of the most amazing and humbling experiences ive ever experienced.
love. Suhada.xx
PS. I don't think i do justice to my descriptions of Sarnarth, India so here are some photoes!
firstly id like to say a happy new year to all! I have to say 2009 sucked(i couldn't think of a simple literary term to sum it up so i went with the simple option). i guess new years eve is traditionally spent with family, alchohol and the site of fireworks and other grand pyrotechnics. I guess this year i wanted to spend my last day of 2009 a bit differently.
I never intended for my blog to be used to recount events in my life rather my thoughts, but its a new year so what the heck. futhermore our personal experiences shape our outlooks, morals and views, so i thought i ought to give you guys a back story before i start spieling!
I think ive hinted in previous posts that im a buddhist, truth be told ive spent the weekends at the same temple in peats ridge for the past 8 years. i guess it gives me peace of mind. but back to the topic of new years! i spent my new year at temple, in fact my last hour of 2009 i wasn't with friends, dancing being merry and eating good food. i sat alone in a candle lit room that burned with the smell of incence. Yeh i know what your thinking, ''what a depressing to start a new year'' and well to the wider majority who think that your entitiled to your opinion. yet for me it was a chance to reflect on the year thats gone by i guess my first thoughts were that school sucked, my severely lacking love life sucked, life at home sucked, 2009 sucked. Yet after pondering that only through hardship can we learn from our mistakes and strive on to bigger better things and i guess thinking about all the hard times throughout 09 i learnt from every single mistake and bad situation. I guess what im trying to alude to is no year is truly good or bad. Some will prosper while others will suffer but with peace of mind whatever obstacles life has for us, we will stand strong and overcome it all the stronger. So with that i wish you all the best for the turn of a new year and hope that you jump every hurdle standing in your way.
I guess my highlight for the year was a trip i took to sarnarth in india. it was organised through my youth group, i pretty much signed up for a course where i lived like a monk for 3 weeks. The idea of doing it still sounds pretty strange to me, but i felt that i had so many questions and i could never find resolve out in the world, i felt i had to go to at least get some closure. In short what i had to do was give up all my things wear monsatic robes and meditate all day, i lived like the average indian, living in a temple communal toilets filled with bugs and creepy crawlies. Heck i even walked barefoot on streets covered with sewerage, cow crap and peoples piss and spit. Yeah i know the idea of doing this sounds ridiculous right? Well i can't say much else other than it is.... but its liberating to let go of everything. I learnt alot from the people in india. In short they have ''jack shit'' to live with poor housing, little food, little money that means there is little reason for hope right?
WRONG! They live with so much hope and vigour they strive onwards day after day and there i was pining for my guitar and a nice big bottle of hair conditioner. But i guess living like that i realised that all those ''wordly'' things are impermanent the idea of conditioner is a fine example well metaphorically speaking anyways. When i have conditioner im as happy as larry but once its all used up(which for me is generally a 600ml bottle in 3 weeks =0) im pissed off upset and i want more and i crave for it until i get it, its all a vicious cycle well until im bald!
In summary india taught me that everything is subject change. All thoughts and possessions are subject to change so ''let go''. Thats my tune for this year letting go, to be more content to be a simple Suhada because thats where true happiness lies. Although i had nothing to call my own that was the happiest ive been in certainly a long time. I guess when there is no attatchment, no cravings and no delusion there is purity in your thoughts and actions. Its like poison and honey, so lets hope the bee's keep it sweet aye.
Well i know thise post wasn't the most elequont ive made in recent months but i felt i need to put it out there. Spending new years at Peats Ridge and going to Sarnarth was certainly one of the most amazing and humbling experiences ive ever experienced.
love. Suhada.xx
PS. I don't think i do justice to my descriptions of Sarnarth, India so here are some photoes!
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