This is the end of this chapter.
I have a long list of boxes to tick but i need to find "Suhada" again before i can get there. I have so many things to say, just theres no meaning behind any of it. There are so many voices in my head, telling me of all the things I have to do, just i think its time I put them on mute and just listen to Suhada.
I want colour in my painting, just right now its all black, its time to find a rainbow. Time to be honest with myself.
Rest easy kids, ill be seeing you soon.
This Chapter is closed...
Suhada.xx
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
74 aint so small
Dear Friends lover sinners and saints
Water shall always cut itself a new path, it simply flows. A stream never stops to ponder why it flows, it simply just goes with it.
I think its time to just be like the stream and flow through. Sometimes wasting time wondering what the bigger picture is, stops us from getting there.
A drop of water, can one day emminate sounds from the ocean. Its high time I started goin with the flow, time to find the ocean
much love..
suhada.xx
Water shall always cut itself a new path, it simply flows. A stream never stops to ponder why it flows, it simply just goes with it.
I think its time to just be like the stream and flow through. Sometimes wasting time wondering what the bigger picture is, stops us from getting there.
A drop of water, can one day emminate sounds from the ocean. Its high time I started goin with the flow, time to find the ocean
much love..
suhada.xx
Monday, March 1, 2010
Counting Sheep
Call me weird, stupid or any other insult you may wish, I don't plan to fight with whatever you think, for I am what you think...
but for want of a better topic i'm afraid to sleep....
The lives we lead are a strangled dissaray of thoughts, events and emotions, they hold no consequence, no real purpose. I feel that the world we live in is madness, living a life in fast foward is no consellation. Yet I find that the only time things really start to slow down, where I can really see things for what they are is laying in bed watching the light of day fade.
Yet when I start looking at things for what they really are I can't help but be full of disdain, for past regrets, for failing in being the person I should be. I know this may sound like the typical ''teen angst'' story but my lifes been full of too many ''what ifs'' that only come to fruition as i lay in wake for the tide to turn a new day.
But the past is at is sounds right?... nothing but the past. It is said and done, written in stone. There isn't any do overs, restarts or page refresh buttons in lifes game. Suffice to say our past is the foundation for our present, our current state culminate who we are here and now. I guess here and now, i feel crippled, there is so much adversity and animosity that I still have trouble comprehending but im whole right. I think that its only through overcoming life's greatest obstacles can we truly learn, for what better way to leave imrpints onto ones life of its preciousnous than seing its frailty first hand?
So that is my present, a constant battle within my own thoughts, a war with myself...
Our present holds the key for our future, and i have no idea where any of that entails hence resulting in my certain dislike of sleep. But i guess for the sake of my sleep trying to solve lifes problems by dwelling on my past and fixating on my future holds no resolves. Lifes questions may stem from thoughts of the future and memories of our past but its resolve result in our present state.
Its 3:21am 2nd of February, im listening to ''downfall of us all'' by a day to remember im in my room but most importantly im living in the present.
time for some much needed rest.
rest easy kids
love suhada.xx
but for want of a better topic i'm afraid to sleep....
The lives we lead are a strangled dissaray of thoughts, events and emotions, they hold no consequence, no real purpose. I feel that the world we live in is madness, living a life in fast foward is no consellation. Yet I find that the only time things really start to slow down, where I can really see things for what they are is laying in bed watching the light of day fade.
Yet when I start looking at things for what they really are I can't help but be full of disdain, for past regrets, for failing in being the person I should be. I know this may sound like the typical ''teen angst'' story but my lifes been full of too many ''what ifs'' that only come to fruition as i lay in wake for the tide to turn a new day.
But the past is at is sounds right?... nothing but the past. It is said and done, written in stone. There isn't any do overs, restarts or page refresh buttons in lifes game. Suffice to say our past is the foundation for our present, our current state culminate who we are here and now. I guess here and now, i feel crippled, there is so much adversity and animosity that I still have trouble comprehending but im whole right. I think that its only through overcoming life's greatest obstacles can we truly learn, for what better way to leave imrpints onto ones life of its preciousnous than seing its frailty first hand?
So that is my present, a constant battle within my own thoughts, a war with myself...
Our present holds the key for our future, and i have no idea where any of that entails hence resulting in my certain dislike of sleep. But i guess for the sake of my sleep trying to solve lifes problems by dwelling on my past and fixating on my future holds no resolves. Lifes questions may stem from thoughts of the future and memories of our past but its resolve result in our present state.
Its 3:21am 2nd of February, im listening to ''downfall of us all'' by a day to remember im in my room but most importantly im living in the present.
time for some much needed rest.
rest easy kids
love suhada.xx
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