Call me weird, stupid or any other insult you may wish, I don't plan to fight with whatever you think, for I am what you think...
but for want of a better topic i'm afraid to sleep....
The lives we lead are a strangled dissaray of thoughts, events and emotions, they hold no consequence, no real purpose. I feel that the world we live in is madness, living a life in fast foward is no consellation. Yet I find that the only time things really start to slow down, where I can really see things for what they are is laying in bed watching the light of day fade.
Yet when I start looking at things for what they really are I can't help but be full of disdain, for past regrets, for failing in being the person I should be. I know this may sound like the typical ''teen angst'' story but my lifes been full of too many ''what ifs'' that only come to fruition as i lay in wake for the tide to turn a new day.
But the past is at is sounds right?... nothing but the past. It is said and done, written in stone. There isn't any do overs, restarts or page refresh buttons in lifes game. Suffice to say our past is the foundation for our present, our current state culminate who we are here and now. I guess here and now, i feel crippled, there is so much adversity and animosity that I still have trouble comprehending but im whole right. I think that its only through overcoming life's greatest obstacles can we truly learn, for what better way to leave imrpints onto ones life of its preciousnous than seing its frailty first hand?
So that is my present, a constant battle within my own thoughts, a war with myself...
Our present holds the key for our future, and i have no idea where any of that entails hence resulting in my certain dislike of sleep. But i guess for the sake of my sleep trying to solve lifes problems by dwelling on my past and fixating on my future holds no resolves. Lifes questions may stem from thoughts of the future and memories of our past but its resolve result in our present state.
Its 3:21am 2nd of February, im listening to ''downfall of us all'' by a day to remember im in my room but most importantly im living in the present.
time for some much needed rest.
rest easy kids
love suhada.xx
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"But the past is at is sounds right?... nothing but the past. It is said and done, written in stone. There isn't any do overs, restarts or page refresh buttons in lifes game."
ReplyDeleteSure, you could say that. You're right that it sets a foundation for our present selves, but there's more to it. There technically are do overs, many times we get a second chance or the same situation arises in a different form, if you get my meaning. Basically whatever mistakes we make once we learn from so that we can act appropriately in the future or aid those who are in the position we were in.
Typical "teen angst"? Yeah. I hope you get over that by the end of the year because you might find that nothing will happen if you have a serious go at trolling this thing that we call Life. Just a thought.
Keep up the good work, Suhada and I just thought you might like to know, it was probably March 1st when you made this post, not February 2nd. Make sure not to lose sleep.
- Deft