Namesakes

Dear friends lovers sinners and saints



After a long string of deep and brooding posts i felt like doing something a bit more light hearted.



It is generally accepted that ones's name is their title, in essence it belongs to them. As tradition goes my name is Ekanayake Mudiansalagae(not certain on spelling for that) Suhada Eran Ekanayake.



Yet these names that seem so pivotal to our character were never really ours to begin with. My needlessly long spiel of a name was given to me on account of tradition and due to my parent's will.



How can something so detrimental to our lives be chosen in an instant?



In Sri Lankan tradition your given names come with a meaning. Mine being ''good hearted''. However cool that may sound how can two words simply sum up my whole being? Because my name means good hearted does that mean i can never strive past that, does it set a bench mark for my life? To further contradict that after studying Japanese for the past few years i learnt that in japanese means "bare, nude and complection"



How can i be good hearted when as far as the japanese go im destined for a career in the porn industry?



Yet if our names define us how come we all end up with several tags and nicknames. I guess majority of the time its due to convenience yet how come certain people only end up calling you by a certain name? My friends at school call me ''screw harder'' other friends call me ''sud'' my stage name is ''karasu''(japanese for raven) my sister calls me malli(sinhalese for little brother) and my mum calls me sukhi.

For a time I thought it would better suite society for the individual to choose their name, for who could know you better than yourself?

Tonight i set off for Sarnarth, India to stay in a temple and live life like an ordinary third world monk would. I will also receive a new buddhist name. I hope to find some solice on my trip to Sarnarth and what a new name may hold.

By receiving a new name i hope i can find more insight to who I am and what lays ahead as consequence of that.

Well i guess i best be off now, take care all

love Suhada.xx