Man Cave

Dear Friends, lovers, sinners and saints

I've taken the time to write about my perspective of the world in the hope to have an understanding of the place in which we live yet for this post i want to write on the subject of ''Suhada'' in the hope I can find a better understanding of myself and the reason why I do the things I do.

Last week in english we discussed the idea of a ''man cave'' or as Australian convention goes the Aussie bloke retreating to his shed tinkering with who knows what finding some sort of escape from the real world. Some may find the idea of retreating to a shed as stupid but to the Aussie bloke its an escape, however short it may be from life's harsh realities. That got me thinking whats the ''man cave'' for the rest of us.



Im not sure you about you dear reader but ive always found solice in my music. Be warned that the rest of this post may end up being an intensely long spiel of my guitar BUT YOU WERE WARNED. Like many other teenage boys the idea of guitar seemed appealing and undoubtedly cool so i decided to start learning it. What began as a slab of wood, foreign to my hands and capable of so much beauty came to be my own simple ''man cave''. As my skill undoubtedly grew so did my love for it. Soon i drowned all of my life's sorrows and joys through music. To think I found a sense of belonging in what some yearn for, for so long in a inamate object baffles me still. All my emotions and regrets were bled into music, until there was nothing left. Thoughts of playing simply to look cool became a hazy memory, I had found myself a ''man cave''.



Santana said once ''music from the heart pulls at the strings of the soul'' those words have never rung truer until i run up on stage with guitar in hand. Funnily enough the first time playing for a real crowd was at HGHS with the eyes of close to what I think was 740 girls and students staring down at me and those about to play beside me. The nerves were on a high and i've come the conclusion they must have thought i was retarded, what with the needless headbanging and badass poses. Yet for the first time the music seemed to flow through me. All thoughts had gone it was just me and the music. Since then ive craved that same feeling and same emotion, but i'm to no avail.

Now blatantly obvious music is my refuge, that and everything encompassing it. What with the clothes the hair the attitude one can't help but become lost in the deluge that is music. Yet im sure the aussie bloke would feel the same thing, becoming lost under the tools of his work. To the point where the refuge in his shed better yet his man cave becomes a fickle image, which protects him from the outside.

To me the idea of a man cave is all well and good, as everyone needs their personal space to find some sort of solice. Yet its when that cave bridges a divide and begins to segment you as a person it leaves you in dismay. Yes the concept is obscure but I say it because I did just that. As i wrote above i became lost in the image that came with my music, instead of just being lost in the music. Ive always been taught to respect music from the all the teachers i've come across. However the point where i valued more of what my hair looked like and the shoes i was wearing rather than how i could improve the song or entertain the audience was when i knew this ''mancave'' was beginning to crumble.

Ive now realised that however beneficial a mental and spiritual retreat may be no matter what it is, we shouldn't depend upon it to make us secure. Wouldn't the Aussie bloke feel more secure telling his thoughts and opinions to the world in the hope is may better someone rather than sitting on his ass thinking about how grim life is? Because everybody sees him for the aussie bloke not the guy who has thoughts and opinions or hopes and dreams. He leaves people with a false image of himself and ultimately thats a lie.

Much like the aussie bloke ive done the same, time and time again. The hair that once covered my face and the image i wished to exume left me blind to who i truly was and the clarity i truly wish to find. So lo and behold I had my head shaved at youthgroup, in the hope I can find my real self. With the locks of my hair on the ground instead of on my head I was given the chance to start over, to find pure music and a pure self that isn't caught in misconceptions.

Reader i apologise for the spiel of hair and guitar. However I leave you with this, smallpiece of advice that was left with me before I had to realise the fate of cutting my hair. ''Wear your heart on your sleeve''. Finding a pace of tranquility in your mancave is a noble cause, yet don't let the shadows of the cave encroach upon you. Find the daylight and let it touch your skin, be true to yourself.

Later days
Suhada.xx