+ vs -

Dear friends, lovers, sinners and saints

I realised today that life is very much cruel. It doesn't seem to wish the best for you, rather whatches you stumble in dismay with all the obstacles it sets forth. We all try and play the game but the game ends up playing us, and there aint no restart and try again we just all keep going. Regardless there are two ways to approach this by either being positive or negative.... yeah that was pretty obvious.

Succumbing to negativity is as the word would suggest rather dreary. To see the downside in every situation, expecting nothing of it could only lead to just that happening, nothing of consequence. For that I think of it as the easier thing to do, a path in which you that never seems to deviate. The standard is set low, failure is not merely an option but the result. Is merely being negative a way to protect yourself from what lays ahead in life because as far as I see it positivity is a risk. Your leaving yourself vulnerable, actually making an effort to jump life's hurdles instead of merely walking through them. Couldn't be negative merely be being lazy, where you let your walls crumble instead of holding it together? Yet if positive your path already so tough seems to stray holding just as many forks and dead ends is the risk worth it?

I came to realise such harshness today. To those who know me beyond the image of ''the guitar fag'' you would know this all too well. My outlook in regard to any matter is bleak, yet it was only recently that I started to consider why I did that. In years past I would like to think I was up beat, the happy go lucky type yet the vulnerability caused life's realisations to hurt all the more. I guess with negativity I like many others became closed off to the rest of the world. Yet until now I didn't seem to realise that this path led to an edge of a cliff, the bottom of which i can't see. So I figured you have to take the initiative to be positive and see the good in little things.

That was my new aim, the birds, the trees, the flowers, smells in the air pretty much anything i tried to make happy but how real can something be when you force it?

Today Jazz band had a gig at hornsby rsl for year 12 grad. The whole process i tried to view as exciting yet at the end of the night when my ma picked me up it ended in an epic rage of how irresponsible i am for not calling her enough. The whole drama made me think is being positive worth it when you can crash and burn so bad?

When your positive your walking on a thin plank that can give way at any time to leave you drowning in the ocean. So which would you rather?

I will leave you with the words of Julia Roberts in her role from ''Pretty Women'' although there is both good and bad, the bad is just so much easier to believe

sleep tight kids
suhada.xx